Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”
- gabriel: hey baby
- gabriel: did it hurt
- gabriel: when you fell from heaven?
- lucifer: you're a fucking dick
apparently i skipped the part in puberty where i get really attractive
TH-THEY JUST SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE
“hey baby i got us a bottle of wine” you say. the baby stares back at you confused. why are you giving a baby alcohol. you are disgusting